The Big Bang Theory:Part2

on Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Season 1, Episode 3 (The Fuzzy Boots Corollary)
Sheldon: (to Leonard, who has decided to give up on Penny) Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted, smoldering wreckage that was
once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so you don%u2019t crash into Geek Mountain again.

Sheldon: I think that you [Leonard] have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the
center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.

Sheldon: There's always a chance that alcohol and poor judgment on her part may lead to a wonderful evening.

Sheldon: I don't come over to your house changing things on your boards.
Leslie: That's because I don't have mistakes on my boards.
Sheldon: That's...That's...
Leslie: When you think up an adjective text me.

Sheldon: You have about as much chance with her as the Hubble Telescope does of finding in the middle of each black hole a small man looking for the light
switch.

Season 1, Episode 4 (The Luminous Fish Effect)
Sheldon: I'm taking a sabbatical because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds.
Penny: So you got canned, huh? Sheldon: Theoretical physicists do not get 'canned'. But yeah.

Penny: I always say that when one door closes, another one opens.
Sheldon: No it doesn't. Not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved. Or if the first door closing creates a change
of air pressure that acts upon the second door.
Penny: (gives Sheldon a long look) Never mind.

Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."

Sheldon: There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.

Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?

Season 1, Episode 5 (The Hamburger Postulate)
Sheldon: Can't we just go to Big Boy? They only have one burger: the Big Boy.
Penny: The Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy.
Sheldon: Excuse me, in a world that already includes a Big Boy, why would I settle for something that's like a Big Boy?

Sheldon: Do you realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?

Sheldon: Of course I'm listening. Blah blah, hopeless Penny delusion, blah blah blah.

Season 1, Episode 7 (The Dumpling Paradox)
Sheldon: I don't know how, but she is cheating! Nobody can be that attractive and this skilled at a videogame.

Sheldon: I'll watch the last 24 minutes of Doctor Who, although at this point it's more like Doctor Why Bother.

Sheldon: No, I’m going to ask him to choose between sex and Halo 3. As far as I know, sex has not been upgraded to include high-def graphics and enhanced
weapon systems.

Season 1, Episode 8 (The Grasshopper Experiment)
Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine... I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's... rum and Coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?

Leonard: Do you really need the Honorary Justice League of America Membership card?
Sheldon: It's been in every wallet I owned since I was five.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: It says keep this on your person at all times. It's right here under Batman's signature.

Sheldon: How often does one see a beloved fictional character come to life?
Wolowitz: Every year at ComiCon. Every day at Disneyland. You can hire Snow White to come to your house. Of course they prefer if you have a kid.

Sheldon: I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs.

Season 1, Episode 9 (The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization)
Leonard: You are not Isaac Newton.
Sheldon: No, no, that's true. Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple.

Leonard: Are there any other honors that I've gotten that I don't know about? Did UPS drop off a Nobel Prize with my name on it?
Sheldon: Leonard, please don't take this the wrong way, but the day you win a Nobel Prize is the day I begin my research on the drag co-efficient of tassles
on flying carpets.

Leonard: Sheldon, why is this letter in the trash?
Sheldon: Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw it
out.

Leonard: (Watching their fight on YouTube) Oh, geez, does this suit really look that bad?
Sheldon: Forget your suit. Look at my arms flailing. I'm like a flamingo on Ritalin.

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