The Big Bang Theory:Part3

on Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Season 1, Episode 10 (The Loobenfeld Decay)
Leonard: How long is [Toby/Leo] going to stay here?
Sheldon: He's a homeless drug addict, Leonard. Where's he going to go? Boy, you have a lot to learn about lying.

Sheldon: (Knocking on Penny's door early in the morning). Penny, Penny, Penny!
(Penny opens the door).
Sheldon: Good morning.
Penny: Do you have any idea what time it is?
Sheldon: Of course I do, my watch is linked to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. It's accurate to one-tenth of a second, but as I'm saying this it
occurs to me once again your question may have been rhetorical.

Sheldon: Artificial intelligences do not have teen fetishes.

Season 1, Episode 11 (The Pancake Batter Anomaly)
Sheldon: We have no idea what pathogen Typhoid Penny’s introduced into our environment. And having never been to Nebraska I’m relatively certain that I
have no Corn Husking antibodies.

Sheldon: Obviously you're not well-suited for three-dimensional chess. Perhaps three-dimensional Candyland would be your speed.

Season 1, Episode 12 (The Jerusalem Duality)
Sheldon: Engineering. Where the noble semiskilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Oompa-Loompas of science.

Dr. Gablehauser: Okay, well, speaking of spreads, we're having a small welcoming party this afternoon for Mr. Kim who's agreed to join us here at the
Sheldon: Of course he has. The Oracle told us little Neo was the one. You can see the matrix, can't you?

Sheldon: Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, to... You know, that other guy.
Howard: Antonio Salieri?
Sheldon: Oh God, now even you are smarter than me.

Sheldon: While Mr. Kim, by virtue of youth and naiveté, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my
research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me.

Season 1, Episode 13 (The Bat Jar Conjecture)
Sheldon: What rat have you recruited to the SS sinking ship?
Leslie: Hello Sheldon.
Sheldon: Leslie Winkle.
Leslie: Yeah Leslie Winkle. The answer to the question, who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl?
Sheldon: Yes well I am polymerised tree saps and you are an inorganic adhesive so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of
me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.
Leslie: Oh, ouch.

Sheldon: Oh, and one more thing, it's on bitch.

Sheldon: Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?

Sheldon: At this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce
the resulting particular chaos to tears.

Season 1, Episode 14 (The Nerdvana Annihilation)
Sheldon: Are you upset about something?
Leonard: What was your first clue?
Sheldon: Well there was a number of things. First the late hour, then you demeanors seems very low energy plus your irritability...
Leonard: Yes I'm upset!
Sheldon: Oh... I don't usually pick up on those things. Good for me.
Leonard: Yeah good for you.
Sheldon: (walks away and then turns back) Oh, wait. Did you want to talk about what's bothering you?
Leonard: I don't know... maybe.
Sheldon: Wow! I'm on fire tonight.

Sheldon: Dibs does not apply in a bidding war.

Sheldon: In a Venn diagram, that would be an individual located at the intersection of the sets “no longer want my Time Machine” and “need 800 dollars”.

Sheldon: It only moves in time. It would be worse than useless in a swamp.

Sheldon: I disagree. Your inability to successfully woo Penny long predates your acquisition of the time machine. That failure clearly stands on its own.

Season 1, Episode 15 (The Shiksa Indeterminacy)
Sheldon: They were not “friends”. They were imaginary colleagues.

Season 1, Episode 16 (The Peanut Reaction)
Sheldon: 1234 is not a secure password.

Sheldon: What twelve year old boy wants a motorized dirt bike?

Sheldon: What computer do you have? And please don't say "a white one."

Store Clerk: You don't work here.
Sheldon: Well aparently no one does.

Season 1, Episode 17 (The Tangerine Factor)
Sheldon: Actually, I thought the first two renditions were far more compelling. Previously, I felt sympathy for the Leonard character. Now I just find him to
be whiny and annoying.

Sheldon: Oxen are in my bed! Many, many oxen!